Apple’s HomePod marketing copy is just ridiculous - I’m still getting one though

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Apple loves to arrive late to a tech product category with the best solution at a premium price. And everyone loves to get upset by it. Every time it happens nerdy journalists (nerdalists?) proclaim the new gadget launch to be nothing more than ‘the emperor’s new clothes’, ‘dead on arrival’ and ‘over-hyped’.

It happened with the iPod ("overpriced... who wants to digitise music?" – single-handedly revolutionised the entire music industry), the iPad (“it's just a big iPod Touch" – fastest selling electronic product of all time), iPhone ("no chance of significant market share" – biggest selling consumer electronics product of all time), we could go on...

And so here we are again with the Apple HomePod. A smart speaker due to launch in two weeks time that’s again late to the party (by about two years). This time it's up against fierce competition from Amazon's Alexa-enabled Echo range, Google's Google Assistant powered Home range and Sonos (who've hurriedly bolted-on some smart features to keep up). When you consider that a quarter of all UK homes received some kind of smart speaker this Christmas, Apple's had better be pretty special if they want to make a dent in the speaker universe!

Well, late-to-market pressure seems to have got to Apple's marketing team. While they need to tell their story and explain its technical innovations in as exciting a way as possible, is there any justification for the copy madness that's live on the HomePod section of Apple's website?

Setting up HomePod is quick and magical
— Apple

Sounds like sports day at Hogwarts! Does being magical make it easy to setup or do I have to learn spells and stuff?


So you get amazing sound without even thinking about it.
— Apple

Imagine not having to think about a basic human function such as hearing – what a time to be alive!


Each with its own amplifier and transducer.
— Apple

Has anyone seen the beginning of my sentence? I'm sure I left it around here somewhere.


Buffering that’s even faster than real time.
— Apple

Can anything move faster than real time? Does it have a flux capacitor?

An Apple-designed A8 chip powers the most complex audio innovations in HomePod. Like real-time modeling of the woofer mechanics. Buffering that’s even faster than real time. Upmixing of both direct and ambient audio. Beamforming so the microphone can hear you over the music. And advanced echo cancellation.
— Apple

Is the comma key broken on the Apple marketing laptop?


HomePod is wrapped in a seamless mesh fabric designed for both aesthetic and acoustic performance
— Apple

Aesthetic performance you say? Have you been drinking?


Available in white and space gray, it’s gorgeous from every angle — yet virtually transparent to the music.
— Apple

"Virtually transparent"? Looks pretty solid to me. Sorry, "virtually transparent to the music"! Of course, music is well known for its keen eyesight. Makes perfect sense.

 

And through all that – the smiles, the winces, the shock, the purest example of 'drunk marketing' I've ever read – I have to say... I'm convinced. I believe the thing is going to sound amazing. Go figure. They must be doing something right because I bought one! 

Ikea wants you to pee on this magazine ad

At the very least it's a super cheap pregnancy test!

At the very least it's a super cheap pregnancy test!

Occasionally we just like to show great creative thinking and today is one of those days. Swedish creative shop, Åkestam Holst, started 2018 with a splash (what?!) with their latest ad, in an award-winning series of campaigns, for Ikea. 

Their latest ad for Ikea's baby cot contains a built-in pregnancy test. Pee on the ad and if you're pregnant you'll receive an instant discount on an Ikea cot! Asking who buys a cot when they're not pregnant is beside the point I guess. Anyway, we love it, here's how it works...

Christmas through the ages with the National Trust and Vivid

Ever wondered where all those Christmas traditions we know and love come from? Visit the ghosts of Christmas past with National Trust and Vivid as we journey from 17th century, Tudor and Victorian festivities through to 1920s and 1950s celebrations.

Oh, and straight from the cutting room floor, here's Holly getting a pie in the face! And if you're a fan of loud squawking, crank up the volume. Enjoy yourself, it's Christmas!

Vivid unleash new website and branding for Newcross

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Newcross Healthcare do all sorts of good deeds. From helping people find the right nurses and carers for their friends and family, when they need it most, to helping compassionate healthcare providers find their next job. All in all, they’re just pretty great at helping people. 

That’s why we were chuffed when they asked Vivid to help put together a brand-spanking new website and to give their identity a complete refresh. As you would expect from such a large healthcare provider, this was monumental task. And one that we relished. 

Newcross now has a modern and streamlined website that is easy to navigate for all their users. The end result features a universal job search for healthcare professionals; a branch finder and knowledge base, for those looking for help and information about healthcare and a modern blog so the people at Newcross can keep everyone updated with what they've been up to. 

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We were also tasked with refreshing the Newcross Healthcare brand identity which included creating a whole new logo for the organisation, new brand guidelines, all new building dressing, signage, brochures, magazines, stationery and even their new uniforms. 

Find out more on their website here. 

Vivid welcomes Autumn with National Trust South West

Autumn, a time of floating leaves, cosy evenings, new pencil cases, bonfires, brisk walks... how about we shut up and allow the words of Keats together with the splendour of the South West's best locations paint a picture of Autumn instead? Our latest video for National Trust South West has just gone live...

We couldn’t bee happier with our new video

Ok, yeah let’s start this blog post by apologising for the abysmal pun in the title. We just really couldn’t help ourselves, there’s just a bit of a buzzzz in the office with it being a bank holiday weekend,  along with the fact that the National Trust South West has put the video we made for them live. 

The video which we've unofficially dubbed 'Bee Movie 2: Where's Jerry Seinfeld?' required one intrepid copywriter (cough-me-cough) to handle an iPad Pro barehanded while being swarmed by an entire colony of irate flying-stingy-things. Happily however, we think it really paid off. Take a butchers for yourself: 

Pantone unveils new shade in honour of Prince 

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Here at Vivid Towers, we love to blare some music in the office to keep us all motivated, even if it does distress the holistic meditation chamber next door.  As with any office we’ve got a few favourite artists who always seem to find their way on to the playlist — Marina and The Diamonds, Kate Bush, Morrissey (So long as Jayne isn’t in the office) and of course Prince. 

Our design lot also spend a fair portion of their waking life staring at colour charts, so we were particularly delighted to find out that Pantone have created a new shade in honour of the late musician. 

The new hue (No prizes for guessing which shade they went for) has been dubbed Love Symbol #2.  After the unpronounceable symbol Prince took up as his name during a dispute with his label. 

“The color purple was synonymous with who Prince was and will always be. This is an incredible way for his legacy to live on forever,” said Troy Carter, Entertainment Advisor to Prince’s Estate.

“The color purple was synonymous with who Prince was and will always be. This is an incredible way for his legacy to live on forever,” said Troy Carter, Entertainment Advisor to Prince’s Estate.

Now we're just wondering how we can sneak a little Love Symbol #2 into our next project.